Statement:

“I Wish I Was a Dancer”, is a project in which I dive into the cultural roots of a society I was born and raised in, to explore how one’s surrounding environment can influence one’s decisions and path in life. To achieve this objective, I employ my skills in Fine Art to portray one of my biggest personal wishes/regrets in life. I lived the first 23 years of my life in Tehran. My Tehran is a random, and lively city with deep connections to poetry, literature, and art; an unpredictable concrete jungle that I love and care for. But when I think of my dear Tehran, freedom is not the first thing that comes to my mind. I always wanted to be a dancer, but my deep passion for dance had no chance to blossom in my home country. In our private realm, among family and friends, we used every excuse to dance, sing, read poetry, and celebrate life. But in public, the government decides what we should learn, and how we should be seen. We couldn’t even imagine a dance course in school. To save men from temptation, dancing and singing for women had no chance to be seen, and/or practiced in public.///

It is simply forbidden. While male athletes wrestle, and play soccer on every channel of the national TV, as a kid who wasn’t allowed to follow her passion freely, I rebelled against what I was forced to learn, and watch. I hated sewing, soccer, and wrestling for a long time. I used to think of this hate as my disobedience; my way of fighting those who caged my freedom. But, I also hate the fact that many years later, and many thousands miles away, those conditions still determine what I should hate. So, I decided to use the same root elements of my hatred, to explore my forbidden wish: to become a dancer. In the beginning, it was as simple as that. From my studio in Seattle, I participated in an online, underground dance class in Tehran. A still forbidden act, by a rebellious group of dancers in full forced hijab. But it never stopped them. I learned what it means to get to know your body, and soon it became clear how that’s also necessary in sewing, soccer, and wrestling. Slowly, I started to apply those motions in my work. I traveled to Tehran, and met my young female dance teacher. Seeing her dance in person, realizing how fabric plays a key role when you are dancing with hijab. I decided to choose fabric as my main material, because I wanted to learn sewing again. I started watching soccer and wrestling because I wanted to draw the motions. Soon, I found more connections between these elements, and dancing. Same with the existence of patterns, repetition, and motion in dance, sewing, soccer, and wrestling. “I wish I was a dancer” is my new way of disobedience. It is a dream of mine drawn on fabric. It’s my personal effort to visit the child version of myself and set her free; to give her a chance to use what she was forced to hate as the music to dance around her forbidden wish; and to tell her that it’s okay: they might have stopped you from becoming a dancer, and you might never see the world as a dancer, but you can still see dance as an artist.

The exhibition of artworks by Saina Heshmati entitled "I Wish I Was A Dancer" will take place at Gaheim Gallery from the 6th of January.